The Song Remains the Same

I started listening to Zeppelin at the end of my first year at LSE. Before that I had heard a few songs, famous ones. But it was only after listening to each and every Zeppelin record to date, I came to the conclusion that there is none like them. Nor will there ever be anybody who comes even close. Album by album, song by song, Zeppelin picked me up from the ground and battered me against the wall mercilessly. Destroying and rebuilding me each and every second of my life.

 I have always been a rock fan. During my teenage years, I was more into grunge. Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains and that kinda music. Oh and a little metal too. Iron Maiden was amongst my favorites. Music inspired me, spoiled me, and gave me a reason to dream big. But after my teenage, as I stepped into my twenties, I almost lost interest in everything and music didn’t really move my feet like before. As a matter of fact life itself had lost its touch. There was nothing exciting for me anymore. And then suddenly, there was light, there was Led Zeppelin. There were songs that I could listen to for hours and days continuously and still not ever lose interest. Zeppelin’s music rekindled the spirit in me and that too with a bang. I grew my hair to my shoulders. I knew I was making a fool out of myself in the eyes of the world. I looked hideous but it was alright as long as I was following the footsteps of the great Zeppelin. I didn’t give a damn about anything or anyone. Such was my love for their music and what they did.

Gradually I also developed as a musician. As my guitar skills grew, my appreciation for Zeppelin’s music grew along. I could now understand the brilliance of their music in a better way. All those cool drum rolls that Bonham used to execute so effortlessly, those soul ripping guitar solos by Sir Jimmy Page, that groovy but deep Bassline by Jones and those crazy but melodious vocals by Plant. And it was the bluesy feel in Page’s playing, that developed my interest in the genre, I must admit!

Needless to say I don’t know what people may say or think. I’m sure that many of you must have followed a band. Many of you must have known that feeling where you love a song so much that it hurts. For me that band is Zeppelin. For me they are the best band ever. And the four individuals that make up Zeppelin are the greatest musicians in their respective fields. They’ll always be the best.

So anyways I have not been able to listen to Zeppelin for quite some time now. But today I decided to go crazy one more time and I’m having the time of my life. It’s the best rollercoaster ride ever. By the way I’m listening to Communication Breakdown right now. =D

Love and respect for Led Zeppelin. Forever. \../

Accursed Thinker over and out. =P =p

Makeesay Provoski: Part III – Sacrifice

His head held high up, his gaze down on the ground, with humility and a sense of pride, Provoski walked towards the altar of sacrifice. He was lead by Lenin, his mentor and the master of communism who was wearing a red gown with ancient communist symbols drawn on it. A colosseum surrounded the altar which was elevated right in the middle of an otherwise empty ground. Provoski was made to lie down on the altar as the crowd enjoyed every minute of the show. The High Council of Communist Priests formed a circle around the altar while Lenin performed the ritual. The lid on Provoski’s head was opened up. His sanity was sucked out of his brain and turned into a dog. The dog was then held high by an angel on one side and a demon on the other. The beat of insanity echoed throughout the universe. As the drums picked up momentum, Lenin held the sword high and with force, brought it down on the barking dog, splitting him into two halves from his stomach. The ritual was complete. Provoski’s head was closed and sealed. The blood of the dog was then drunk by Provoski’s parents, his friends and loved ones, his enemies and even Provoski himself. The entire event occurred in another dimension so after it was over, it seemed to Provoski, as if he just got up from a beautiful dream. And just a few hours later, he found himself sitting in a plane, heading back to U.S.S.R… leaving the bloodless dead body of “the dog”, somewhere in the deserts of Saudi Arabia…

Thal was a very small town. It had a small Red Army base here which stationed a brigade back then. If you entered the base from its main gate, drove straight,  took a left after about 2 kilometers then took the third street on left and stopped at the last house on right, you would end up at the Makeesay Residence.

The feeling of return was wonderful and Provoski wasn’t lonely anymore. He finally had a human friend. Her name was Frolova. The entire town sung songs of her character and nobility. But Provoski could only see her at school. So at home, he spent most of his time with his blue bicycle which soon became obsolete so the Colonel got him a new better one. It was a red B.M.X, which stayed with Provoski for around 3 years before dying of cancer.

The great Makeesay lived in Thal for about two years. Many great things happened here. After all it was here that Provoski was bestowed with the prestigious “Teeth of the Rabbit”. The exact date of the event is not clear. But it is said, that the ceremony took place sometime during the summers of 1992.

Well the summers flew and it was September. Provoski was preparing to leave this wonderful town. The next stop in his sacred journey was a small town by the name of Naushki in the South Russian state of Balochia. The journey was long and treacherous indeed…

To be continued…

Makeesay Provoski: Part II – Exile

Provoski’s birth was marked by the rise of a bright red star in the sky. The star rose from the south and stayed in the sky for a good seven days. After which, it moved towards north in a very zig zag manner and finally descended upon those, who had no hope of any kind. The event had already been predicted by the High Council of Communist Priests who had read it in their sacred Red Book.

The book also dictated that the Makeesay had to be exiled in order to complete his transition into human life. Therefore 10 months after his birth, at the start of year 1987, Provoski was banished from U.S.S.R and was sent to Saudi Arabia. The land of Arabs. There he lived in a small apartment in the port city of Al-Jubail. His life in exile was spent in the company of his dear friends; solitude, loneliness and realization. His training had begun and the moments he spent there, had a color. They were of the same color as yellow street lights on an empty road at 3:00 AM. Such was the aroma of his reality. The psychedelic images and memories of this time along with others, stayed with Provoski till his demise.

Provoski’s apartment was on 2^nd floor, from which he rarely (if ever) came out. At home he was surrounded by lifeless objects and spent most of his time creating meaning out of meaningless things. Lenin was an occasional visitor. Even the great Makeesay needed a mentor to guide him towards the red light.

It was during these conversations with Lenin that Provoski realized who he was to himself and to all the others around him.

To the evil, Provoski was the anti-Christ and to the good and the faithful, he was the Messiah. Provoski was the ultimate living example of Hegel’s Theory of Dialectics. He was the synthesis of two extremely opposite theses. He was the middle road. Since in order to survive, a man needs to have some evil in him. And in order to avoid being haunted by the inner voice, he needs to be good. With the balanced mix of good and evil, he is able to live a successful and peaceful life with no regrets

To himself, he was just… Provoski!

Time lingered on and it was finally 1990, the year of return. The rituals of the priests had begun. Makeesay had to present himself on the altar of sacrifice before he could come back…

To be continued…

Makeesay Provoski: Part I – Origins

3 February, 1986, a fine Monday morning. Provoski opened his eyes in this world for the first time. His transition into this life was complete. He finally had a body and mind of his own. The nurse who was actually a human re-incarnation of Satan, held him in her soft arms and brought him outside where his father, The Colonel waited restlessly. With big round eyes, Provoski explored the hostile environment around him. Only to realize that it was a maternity ward in some Red Army Hospital. His gaze reached beyond the walls to look at the people of the city. The city that surrounded his birth place was a crazy one. It has only gotten crazier with time.

Karachi, then a part of U.S.S.R, was a calm and quiet place. So calm that it almost smelt of madness. Provoski spent a couple of his early childhood years here. At the age of 2, he already knew that he was going to be a key but hidden player in the affairs of the world and this crazy city will be his base. He also knew that his contribution will never be acknowledged by the masses. They perhaps won’t even know about his existence. But his actions will create ripples across time and space. And history will get deformed and twisted like always.

On his 3^rd birthday, Provoski was crowned “Makeesay”, a title that has only been bestowed once since the creation of mankind. According to some ancient texts, Makeesay means “The Chosen One”. Hence the name Makeesay Provoski.

Silently Makeesay Provoski prepared for his journey ahead. In order to achieve his objectives, he will have to stay in oblivion for years and years. All great revolutionaries have to face banishment and exile. So Provoski too left the country .

During winters of 1990, Provoski returned and settled in the North Russian state of N.W.F.P, in a small town known as Thal, which is just a few kilometers away from another, more famous small town known as Kohat. Recollecting his memories of a time, strange beyond imagination.

To be continued…

Makeesay Provoski: Preface

Dear Readers,

From now on I’ll write a series of articles on the life of Makeesay Provoski (Born 1986, Died 2046). A father, son, husband, brother, writer, musician and academic, Provoski’s contribution to the modern world can never be overstated. His role in the Russian revolution is unprecedented. He was Lenin’s most trusted comrade till the end. At one occasion, Lenin is said to have remarked, ”The revolution could never have happened without Provoski”.

The articles draw primarily from Makeesay’s biography. All the copies of this book were burned and the author was publicly executed. So it was very difficult to get my hands on it. Luckily, I was able to salvage a copy from the ashes.

Anyways I will not write on Provoski alone. Other articles will get their due attention. But as a note, I won’t be publishing articles from the Provoski series on facebook,

So read on if you like.

Regards,

Accursed Thinker

An Ode to Pain

Dear Pain,

I just wanted to thank you. Coz you’ve done so much for me. So much that sometimes it seems tragic to my cold eyes. These tears are a living testament to that. I know you have a special liking for me. Well I like you too. That is why we are always together. You have always been there for me. You were there when I was a little kid. You were there when I was a messed up druggie teenager. And you are still there as I start my practical life. I know you’ll be there even when I’m on my deathbed. You stood by me when everyone else left. You noticed when no one else knew that I existed. I wish I could just rip open my heart for the world to see how much you dwell in it. How much space you occupy in this bleeding pump!

Everything reminds me of you. I can feel you humming along each time I’m singing. You are ringing with each and every strum. I don’t expect others to know about us. How close we are. Its a secret affair. The world will never understand and its not supposed to.

Oh and I also wanted to apologize. I have always been so rude to you. You knocked at my door and I always tried to avoid you. I’m very sorry for my behavior. I truly am. From this day onwards, I promise that I’ll embrace you with open arms. I’ll love you like you love me. I’ll never leave your side like you’ve never left mine. I’ll always keep the door open for you. Til my very last breath! And thats a promise!!!

Yours Truly

Accursed Thinker

Streamlining Your Life

Dude! Its not a process flow that you can define in terms of steps and diagrams. Its your damn life. But you still want to systemize and streamline it. So you exactly know what to do, where to go next and probably you don’t ever want to be lost for words. Don’t we all hate confusion and uncertainty, heh? Well I know one thing for sure; you are frustrated over a certain turn of events. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t read this. Maybe you are frustrated over the lack of control that you have over your life. But do not worry. Guess what! its your lucky day coz we'll cure all your pains. We'll take out your brain, clean it and put it back in its place. Yes sir, we'll do it for free.

So anyways I’ll share with you my personal failures at streamlining and controlling my life. This might feed your sadist soul and make you happy. If it doesn’t, you probably need to watch a few videos of hunger and famine. Just kidding =P

When I started my first job, I planned to do a lot of things. I made a schedule for myself. The schedule would ensure that I don’t become a workaholic. It would give me ample time to do all the things that I love to do. I was also supposed to join a gym, store my refrigerator with healthy food, veggies, get an internet connection, get a new set of strings for my guitar and resume blogging… And guess what I couldn’t do a single one of these things. NOT A SINGLE DAMN THING =(

Then… I realized…. *Huge Mega Realization Dawns on Me* =O

You see, for something as impulse as life, any set of rules is likely to become obsolete as soon as it is created. So stop stuffing your head with all the things that you want to do. Just flow with the flow. Free fall for a little while and patterns will emerge. Colors will realign themselves to form a picture. It will be a fine painting, Trust me! With the perfect mix of abstraction, pain, happiness, madness and mediocrity, its going to be a perfect life for you and me. And don’t worry its in unlimited supply. =D

So Live on my enemy!!! And yes there is probably one thing I’ll manage to do from now on, that is Blogging =P I hope So =/ So read on as well =P

Contacts Custard

Our social relations have different levels, dimensions and meanings. When you say that somebody is your friend, it implies that a certain level of intimacy and trust exists between you and that person. Similarly an acquaintance is somebody, you just know. A colleague is somebody at your office and nothing more. So on and so forth. We use these terms in our everyday lives because we want to filter and quantify our relations with other people. To put it in simpler terms, we want it to be known to the world, who is who and which is which.

But an alarming new trend has emerged. Perhaps it started emerging with the advent of our famous industrial (material greedy) revolution. Yes! We have a new kind of relation; “A Contact”. And like any new born who comes into this world, we have been treating this new term in our everyday lingo with a great deal of curiosity and interest. Anyways a contact is a person who can help you in some way or the other. People have contacts in governments, private organizations, schools, universities, barber shops (seriously they do, so that while they get a haircut, they can feel special about the whole experience) and God knows where. You need a job, you need contacts. You need to file your tax returns, you need contacts. You need to get an abortion, well guess what, you need contacts.

As we can see, a contact has and will always have a materialistic connotation attached to it. The problem is that these days you need solid contacts to run your life smoothly. This gives out a very strong message to the likes of me who don’t believe in such kind of “material” social indulgence. The message is very clear. We are doomed and bound to get nowhere. On the other hand, the society at large is in a way patronizing such kind of networking. Because the benefits of having more and more contacts is shown to outweigh the costs by a great margin. 

Speaking of costs, the biggest cost to the society is in terms of lost values. What happened to the good old days, when you would meet people because you really wanted to meet them? Where you could be straight forward about your choices of keeping people at different levels of interaction on the basis of a clear cut criteria in your mind which was not based on materialism but rather on your personality and compatibility with the other person. And what happened to our hatred for the word “Hypocricy”? Isn’t it hypocrisy that’s going all around us? As a matter of fact, I see the very definition of the word “society” changing in the next few years. It will most probably become something like “Society is defined as a network of contacts, interconnected via links of personal interest”.

So I’m going end this article with a little exercise for you. Next time when you log on to your facebook. Put your status to something like “I’m a human being, not a contact. If you don’t agree, then please disappear from my life”.

On a second thought, don't put up such a status. You don’t want to lose all your valuable contacts now, do you? =)

Prescription

One year ago, today, I wrote a prescription.

I had become a Russian Psychiatrist to treat my patient. (CN ZPV QDLDLADQ NBOP?)

I was successful.

I’ll always miss those days…

Caution! Strings Attached

Some lessons that I’ve learnt from life (the hard way of course)

• Can’t get it all dude! You just can’t get it all…
  
  
• Every opportunity that you avail means more misery for you because it means forgoing countless opportunities and incurring infinite opportunity cost, considering that had you availed those alternate opportunities, your life would have taken a completely different path altogether and you would have had an entirely different set of choices at every step of your life…. and if you are “farigh” enough to think about all this, then probably you lack purpose in your life!
  
  
• Optimism always hurts more then pessimism.
  
  
• “A friend in need” is someone who is investing in you because you might be of some future “use”.
  
  
• “A friend indeed” is a myth.
  
  
• And last but not the least, whenever you get something super good in life, don’t forget to read the small warning label on the other side of it which says, “Caution! Strings Attached”
  
  

BTW I’m back in Lahore (my hometown) and I’m Super Ultra Mega Happy =D =D =D

Keep reading. Thank You.

The Recruitment System

After being rejected from almost every place that I applied to, I’m quite sure that there is something very wrong with the recruitment system in our country. I know many would brand me as a jealous smug who’s rattling and crying about not getting a job while almost everyone else did. Brand me, criticize me, hold whatever you want to hold against me BUT this is a reality that you can’t deny because you know it, its right there at your face. The recruitment system for 99% of the companies is not fair. Period!

You know what? I got rejections from companies I considered myself too good for. Yes I did! They say, one shouldn’t be arrogant but one should know his/her worth. I know my worth. I know what I can do for the firm that I work for, given a chance. The irony is that I compromised on my worth and still did not get an offer letter. This is just painful. No seriously it is. It is painful to know that people who can’t match you in skill and aptitude got really nice jobs because they had references and contacts. And its painful to think that by the time you do get a job, you probably might have to work under “such” people. Not fair I tell you. Definitely not fair.

Now let me share with you the more painful bit. I was surprised and shocked to know the brilliant ways, in which most of these brilliant HR people shortlist candidates from a pool of CVs. Some sift through graduate directories alphabetically, making sure that somebody who’s unfortunate enough to have his name start from a “Z”, never gets an interview call. And others just select CVs randomly and then filter people out from a randomly selected pool. Dude you are gambling on people’s careers, you Idiot!

And finally the most “politically correct” and “self righteous” kind of recruitment personnel are those who shortlist people on the basis of GPA. The thing is that different universities have different grading plans. My university has one of the most ruthless grading plans and not to mention one of the most difficult entry tests in the country for any business school. But these so called HR “professionals” just don’t know the difference. Ms. HR Professional, its not that difficult to understand, trust me its not a rocket science. Repeat after me slowly, “DIFFERENT UNIVERSITIES HAVE DIFFERENT GRADING PLANS”. Yes repeat it again, You probably might understand it in a few years time. Or maybe not. *bangs head on the wall*

So anyways in many interviews I have faced this question, why is your GPA so low? Dude!!! Give me a break. My 2.9 is still better than a 3.5 from XYZ University where you get an A on 80%. I got my B- on 83%. Arghhh!!!

To tell you the truth. I think, there is no criteria in this country. Except for a select few who are lucky enough to be selected on the basis of merit, most people are hopeless without contacts and references. And maybe even money. Anyways I pity all you poor companies and recruiters. You would have been way better if you had selected people on the basis of fair criteria but you did not. I pity you.

And for the record, You don’t reject me. I reject you and your disvalue system. Down you go!!!

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Holy shit! It’s a Sunday, was my first thought when I woke up this morning errrr I mean afternoon. To tell you the truth, I absolutely hate Sundays. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Coz they have this strange feel to them which makes me feel extremely lazy and lethargic. Uninspiring; they kill my creativity. Destroy me and put me to the ground… Now wait, do not judge! I’m not a workaholic and I certainly do enjoy holidays. But holidays are way more fun if you know that everybody else is working and you are the only one chilling out. I know you what are thinking. You think I’m a sadist. But trust me everyone is, in one way or the other. Now you think I’m cynical. Don’t you have a PhD in passing judgments?

So anyways I decided to come up with a few things that one could to do in order to make Sundays better. I’m not a tyrant so I won’t force you to follow my advice, but trust me you’ll be miserable if you don’t. I hope so, so that you realize how right I was… STOP JUDGING ME!!!

Follow these steps

1. Wake up as early as possible. Preferably around 6:00Am.

2. Try to find a part time job, on which you only have to work on Sundays.

3. Don’t go for a very heavy breakfast. I’d say don’t have breakfast at all. Stay hungry. Those poor people of Africa can do that. Why can’t you? It’s not that difficult I tell you.

4. If you had breakfast, then skip lunch.

5. If you don’t feel like skipping lunch, then again think about the poor people of Africa we talked about in step 3. Imagine a poor hungry African kid, and you’ll probably feel a lot better.

6. Spend your Sunday evening like any other weekday and your day is made. *cheers*

7. End your Sunday like any other normal day of the week.

Oh and if imagining somebody worse off (like the poor hungry African kid in step 5), makes you feel better then probably you actually are a sadist. But don’t worry; there is nothing wrong with it. Being sadist doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. Don’t judge yourself. =)

Enjoy your Sundays!!!

The Gene of Perfection

Ladies and Gentlemen! After years of hard work and greed, we are finally successful. This is the most historic moment in the history of time itself. We have created the “gene of perfection”.

*Applause and cheerful cries from the audience”

Thank you mindless robots. Now let us continue with the presentation.

So this marvelous gene will help us in creating perfect humans. Let me share some of the features of this perfect human being.

Firstly we had to do away with emotions. *a brief moment of applause by the audience*

Emotions complicate things. A man’s emotions are often the cause of great agony and pain not only for himself but for those around him. But our perfect human won’t face any agony, nor will he cause agony for those around him. Don’t worry it doesn’t mean he won’t “show” emotions for others. He definitely will show them. But he won’t be broken by anything. We have tailor made the brain to make him act in a way, which would give comfort to others but he himself will never need any comfort.

We also had to do away with feelings. *A louder applause from the crowd*

Feelings would have made him weak. But our perfect human can’t be weak. He will pretend that he feels but he actually won’t feel anything. We have made sure that he adapts his behavior perfectly to the situation. If he has to pretend that he loves someone, he will do that I assure you. We have replaced the part of the brain that generates emotions and feelings with another part, which generates pretention and hypocrisy. Our perfect human will be a perfect handler of all his relationships. Nobody will ever know that he doesn’t care about anything or anyone in the world. Nobody will ever know that he doesn’t have… feelings!

*A man from the crowd gets up, whose face looks different from all the other alike faces in the presentation hall, he screams: You monsters, the things you have done away with, are the things that make us human, you have only created a machine with organs and flesh. IMPERFECTIONS MAKE US HUMAN…”

Silence you nonconformist rebel. For years you whined about your short comings, your broken homes and your pain. Now when you finally have everything that you wanted, you don’t like it. GUARDS!!! Take this fool away…

And the presentation continues under the loudest applause by any audience ever...