To You, Rain

Imagine a tiny droplet of rain. Imagine the journey of this tiny droplet, which I believe is just wonderful as it starts from up there and ends right here, on the ground.  Just some food for thought: what do all these tiny droplets feel like while they are on it?

Well rainfalls in Lahore are just awesome. Yes they truly are. Especially the part of the city where I live is quite green. So it adds to the awesomeness. Anyways, the story goes like this;

Its 8:52 PM and an hour ago, I was sitting home and had absolutely nothing to do. So I decided to go for a walk. There is a small market in the neighborhood and it normally takes me around 15-20 minutes to get there on foot. So that is where I was heading. As soon as I got there, guess what, it started drizzling. And it didn’t take the drizzle brizzle much time to turn into some heavy monstrous rainfall. This was followed by an obvious attack of panic, confusion and cluelessness as to what should I do next…

…. 10 minutes later, I still stood where I had stood earlier, thinking what to do next. I could have called home or taken a lift from somebody. But I just didn’t. And then I thought, it had been a while that I did something crazy all on my own. So I took the radical decision of walking home in that heavy rainfall. And I did it. I stepped in the storm and starting walking home.

As I walked home, for the first time in my life and I’m not exaggerating it, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I felt free. I did not care that I was getting all soaked up or that my cell phone would probably fry its brain because of all the water or what would my mom say when I get home and ruin her new rug with my wet feet. It was just absolute freedom. I saw people running for shelter and cars passing me by in a hurry. But I was a free man. And a free man is never in a hurry to do anything; he walks at his own pace.  This is what we all need. Freedom! Freedom from our own selves!

And I also realized that you don’t need to be in love or be with someone special to enjoy a wonderful moment. The entire world can be your company if you want it to be.

So as you read this, I don’t know who you are, where do you live, what clothes are you wearing, what physical and mental deformities you got, what heinous crimes you have committed against humanity, what shortcomings you have, what religion you follow and whether or not you like me at all… I don’t care. I just want you to know that YOU! are the most amazing human being in the world. Whoever you are, you are just beautiful! in your own unique way. Because out of the 6 billion people on the planet, you are just one and 99 is never a 100. So that’s it.

Oh and btw want to know what those tiny droplets feel like while they are making that journey I was talking about? Well they feel happy and joyful because they know that they might end up making a confused and cold person, happy about life! ;-)

An Endless Search

I slept at 6:00am in the morning and woke up at around 10:30am. Sleeplessness has become a real bugger lately. So anyways I woke up with a strange kind of tension in my mind. To define it, it’s the discrepancy between my desired state and my actual state. I don’t know what my desired state is. 15 minutes latter I got out of bed and made a phone call. My “Desired” number was powered off. With a bit of disappointment I got ready and left for campus.

Its awfully hot and humid in Karachi today. Campus is a 15 minutes walk from my Hostel. During the course of this little journey, my mind must have gone through a 1000 weird thoughts. Be positive. No don’t let your hopes drag you into some kind of unrealizable dream. So don’t be positive. But life is such a drag if you don’t have hope.. so be positive….don’t be positive.. be realistic. Practical. Don’t think too much. You think too much……. Its 11:45am and I’m at campus. I go straight to the library’s periodicals section. My eyes are continuously sifting through the neatly arranged magazines on the shelf.

There it is, “The Daily Psychologist”; 50+ pages of psychology, antidepressant drug advertisements, and everything there is to life these days. This was the first time I had come across this magnificent compound of paper, ink and other chemicals and I must admit that I was overjoyed. So I took it out, grabbed myself a chair and started going through the pages, occasionally reading a few lines.

There was this one particular ad which deserved more of my attention than usual. “Discover Yourself”. 5 DVD Set by some acclaimed Zen Master. Discover the meaning of life. Make your life meaningful and what not. If we are alive and breathing I ask, is it not meaningful enough? Is it not meaningful enough to be human, with our eyes, ears, hands, brain and short comings? Define meaningful.

Its 12:45 and my phone rings, compelling me to take my eyes off the “Zen Self Discovery Process”. “Desired” number calling. I pick up and two minutes of conversation lighten me up.

Thoughts flood my mind. Why are we here? Why are humans the way they are? Why is self discovery so important? At times after looking at such advertisements, it seems to me as if the entire world is some kind of a mental health facility with all these scientists designing solutions and testing them on us. Its all a big mess. Human beings have systematized and institutionalized everything. The system suffocates me. The institutions scare me. Aren’t we all just highly intelligent animals. I think we’d be better off If we had not evolved into being the way we are today. Perhaps if we had stayed primitive, then our problems and complications of life would never have grown to such massive proportions. Perhaps…

I’m back in my room and my mind tells itself to shut up. But my questions are still unanswered…